Dear readers, guess what? This is my last column for Xtra West. I’ve had so much fun here over the past three years. What could be better than having a public forum for my various ponderings, rants, opinions and even, I admit it, some whining? How luxurious, how decadent. But the time has come to focus my time and energy on new endeavours. More…
Category: Queer Life
A Penchant for the Fruity, Xtra West, July 16, 2008
I’m finishing this column on the screened-in porch of my aunt Anne’s house in New York while the crickets chirp and the fireflies flash on and off. My girlfriend and I have spent the past two weeks visiting family. When I’m not having little fits of rage or moments of gooey love, and I’m not busy drinking wine or eating chocolate, I’ve been trying to take advantage of this excellent opportunity for increasing self —understanding. (I’m not even being sarcastic, that’s how introspective I have become here among the crickets.) More…
Thinking About Breasts, Xtra West, June 19, 2008
This spring my sister-in-law – my girlfriend’s sister – found a lump in her breast. Within weeks she had had an ultrasound, a specialist’s appointment and a mastectomy. As the family tries to absorb this news, I can’t stop thinking about breasts – having them, not having them, what it all means. More…
Help available for queers in abusive relationships, Xtra West, May 22, 2008
Acknowledging our history gives us a richer sense of community. It shows respect for the work of the people who came before us. It saves the younger ones from reinventing the wheel. It can also make us safer, in very concrete ways. For example, last issue this newspaper ran a cover story on queer domestic violence, with minimal acknowledgement of the activism on the issue that has been happening right here in Vancouver for the past 15 years at least. Read the rest on the Xtra site.
Can you fuck men and still call yourself a dyke?, Xtra West, April 23, 2008
Lately I’ve been wondering what it means when dykes have sex with men. Everybody seems to have an opinion about it — women who are doing it, women who have never done it, women like me who haven’t done it for a long time and think they probably won’t but you never know. Read the rest on the Xtra site.
Posse of Exes, Xtra West, March 27, 2008
It’s been almost 15 years since I came out. God, that seems like such a long time. You’d think I’d be at the Master’s Level in dykiness or something by now. But the truth is that I still lack quite a few lezzie credentials. For example, I do not have what a friend of mine calls “the posse of exes” — you know, the gang of ex-lovers who are now your best friends.
When the Marginalized Marginalize, Xtra West #379, February 28, 2008
Last month I sent an email to all my friends about an upcoming queer event. One wrote back, “I would love to come but I can’t get my wheelchair up the stairs.”
Read the rest on the Xtra site…
PS: Check out the post on Elizabeth McClung’s blog that I mention in the column.
Making the Happy Holidays Even Happier, Xtra West #373, December 6, 2007
Here it is, your exclusive preview of the soon-to-be-bestseller: How to Welcome Your Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender/Whatever-They’re-Calling-
Themselves-Now Family Member Home for the Holidays (and Make Them Wonder Why They Ever Left)! Read it on the Xtra site…
Competing for Victim Status, Xtra West #371, November 7, 2007
Those of us who have been part of feminist or queer politics in North America have had plenty of experience with this competition to be named MVP —Most Victimized Person. Many of us dropped out of political activism because of the hellish hours we spent sitting in circles accusing each other of racism and homophobia until someone “won.”
Lessons in Connection, Xtra West #369, October 10, 2007
James Loney is my hero. That’s the one-sentence version of how I feel about him.
My intense admiration for him started in March 2006 when he and two other members of the Christian Peacemakers Team (CPT) were rescued, having been held hostage for four months in Iraq.